Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day…………………………..

What to say about Mother’s Day??? I am full of mixed emotions. One side of heart is full of love and hope for Lorelai. On the other side is a longing for a Brayleigh. Would she be as crazy and loving as her sister. I wonder what they would be like together. I would love for Lorelai to have her sister to play with. Someone that she could take care of. She knows she has a sister but I don’t think she understands why her sister is not here to play with her like her friend’s sisters are. In the last week she has become more aware that her little sister is in heaven. From the beginning we have always explained to her the Brayleigh is in heaven and watches over us. We do go to the cemetery to visit Brayleigh and plant flowers. She has recently started to ask when Brayleigh will be coming home and when she will have a sister to play with.

The other day we were driving to school. Lorelai started asking me if we could go see Brayleigh. She said she wanted to visit her where the green, green grass is and the cool black fence. I had no idea what she was talking about. I thought maybe she had a dream about playing with Brayleigh. I asked her if it was in a dream and she said no, you know where all the other Brayleighs are. I said no I do not know and sure enough we go by the cemetery and Lorelai says…there mommy, I want to go there and see Brayleigh. She thinks that all the markers are other Brayleighs. I explained to her that not all of the markers are babies. I said there are a lot of people in there of all ages. This is an extreme conversation to have with a three year old on the way to school but this is our new normal now. I love the fact that deep down in her heart she will grow up with the knowledge that she has a baby sister. As she grows older I feel like she will have more questions and more understanding of this knowledge. She truly amazes me everyday and even though I have a daughter on Earth and one in Heaven, they both fill me heart with joy and love. I also think that Lorelai will forever carry a part of her baby sister in her heart.

I want to wish all the mothers with kids on earth and in heaven a wonderful Mother’s Day.

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2 responses to “Mother’s Day

  1. My youngest son, who is 3, has been asking a lot lately when Kyleigh will come back from heaven. They are hard conversations to have with a three year old, but I believe that over time, they will grow to understand in a way that only children can. It warms my heart when my boys talk about their baby sister, as I’m sure it does for you too when your daughter talks about her baby sister.

    • It really does warm my heart. When Brayleigh was born Lorelai was only 2 and a half. I worried that she would never understand that she had a baby sister. A year later and she asks about Brayleigh almost everyday. I know as she gets older she will have more questions and more understanding of what happened. She did tell me the other day that she would like for me to have another baby in my belly and that when she grows up she wants to have a baby in her belly like mommy. If it wasn’t for her I don’t know where I would be.

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