My First Writing To Brayleigh (4/16/12)

I recently found my journal that I started to write in after we lost Brayleigh. I am going to in the next couple days post them on here. It is amazing to go back and read them. I gives me more to remember on how I felt during the beginning. The first entry I wrote was on my schedule C-section day. 4/16/13

My Dearest Brayleigh Elizabeth,

Today is the day you would of been in my arms. Just 3 weeks away from being here. You were taken away from us at 36 weeks! These past 3 weeks have been the hardest in my life. With so many questions unanswered and so many hopes/dreams gone. Trying to explain to your big sister Lorelai that you are in heaven looking down on us with Grandpa and PopPop. The love and support of our family and friends is what is pulling us through right now. We had services and a burial with just our immediate family. The love and support from your grandparents, aunts and uncles has been above and beyond. They all saw you , got to hold you, and said their goodbyes. They will all hold you in their hearts forever and ever. As for your father, he has been my rock. Without him the loss of my baby girl would be more painful than it is already.

I until the moment we saw you was wanting you to be alive. As I was laying there during the c-section, I was praying you come out crying and breathing just like your sister. It was so hard to go 36 weeks just 3 weeks shy of our meeting day for you to now be gone. You were a mover and never stopped. To this day I sometimes feel like I can still feel you moving.

Love Forever Baby Girl,

Mommy

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